How can I improve my emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence or the ability to understand and manage our emotions, is an invaluable resource that can make a difference in the quality of our relationships as well as in our personal and professional success.

Throughout the evolution of humanity, emotions have played a crucial role in survival. The ability to perceive and respond to emotions allowed our ancestors to react quickly and effectively to danger by feeling fear for example, or to strengthen social and family bonds through the joy of connection.

Today, emotions remain a crucial system of evolutionary signals, serving as rapid indicators of our experiences and triggering adaptive responses. Knowing how to manage them and turning them into our allies rather than enemies will determine the ability to make positive decisions, the quality of our interpersonal relationships, the ability to be resilient and cope with adversity, our overall health and well-being, as well as our professional performance.

Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist, popularized this concept through his book «Emotional Intelligence,» published in 1995. According to Goleman:

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions, as well as the ability to recognize, influence, and manage the emotions of others in our daily interactions.

Fortunately, emotional intelligence is not a fixed skill; it can be learned and improved over time. It is a key factor for success in life, both personally and professionally, and according to Goleman, it may even be more important than the Intelligence Quotient (IQ) in determining professional performance and overall well-being.

In an increasingly interconnected world, where human relationships play a fundamental role in personal and professional success, cultivating and improving our emotional intelligence becomes an essential task.

In this article, we will explore six practical strategies to enhance your emotional intelligence. We will discover how these skills can positively impact your overall well-being, decision-making, and the quality of your interpersonal relationships.

Before you can manage your emotions, you need to be aware of them. Take time to reflect on your feelings. Keep an emotional journal to identify patterns and emotional triggers, labeling what you feel in different situations and understanding how your emotions affect your thoughts, behavior, and bodily sensations.

Self-awareness allows you to better understand your emotional reactions and provides you with the ability to manage them more effectively. This practice will help you recognize your automatic reactions and provide a solid foundation for emotional growth.

Self-awareness also involves being present in the current moment. Mindfulness is an effective technique for cultivating this awareness. Dedicate a few minutes each day to practice mindfulness, focusing on your thoughts and emotions without judgment. As you develop self-awareness, you become more capable of recognizing and understanding your own emotions.

Once you are aware of your emotions, the next step is to learn to manage them. Practice emotional self-regulation by identifying strategies that help you stay calm in stressful situations. Meditation, conscious breathing, and practicing empathy with yourself are powerful tools for handling your emotions healthily. Establish routines that promote emotional stability in your daily life.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Cultivating empathy strengthens your social skills and improves your interpersonal relationships. Actively listen to others, be aware of their emotions, and show understanding by paying complete attention to both non-verbal and verbal communication. Try to understand the experiences and perspectives of others without judgment.

This act not only strengthens your connections but also allows you to see the world from diverse perspectives.

Participating in activities that expose you to various experiences and points of view can broaden your empathetic understanding. Reading, volunteering, and engaging in diverse groups allow you to encounter different realities and increase your ability to empathize with a broader range of emotions and experiences.

Social skills are essential for success in personal and professional life. Develop the ability to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts constructively, and practice assertiveness. Building healthy relationships involves setting clear boundaries, expressing your needs respectfully, and being open to dialogue. Participating in group activities can be an excellent way to practice these skills.

Motivation is a key component of emotional intelligence. Reflect on your values and long-term goals. What drives you to get up every morning? By aligning your goals with your fundamental values, you will find a lasting source of motivation. Discover what you are passionate about and set meaningful goals that inspire you and drive you to grow.

The ability to maintain motivation even in challenging times is crucial for overcoming obstacles and achieving long-term success. Stay focused on your goals, even when facing obstacles, and use challenges as opportunities for growth. Remember that the path to achievement may be filled with obstacles, but facing them with determination strengthens your emotional resilience. Celebrate successes, even small ones, and learn from failures.

Improving emotional intelligence is not a destination but a continuous journey. Commit to learning and growing over time. Seeking guidance from professionals and reflecting regularly on your emotional experiences are part of the constant commitment to personal development that will help you maintain strong emotional intelligence throughout your life. Each experience, positive or negative, is an opportunity to learn. Reflect on past emotional situations and consider how you could have handled things differently. This constructive self-reflection fuels emotional growth.

In conclusion, emotional intelligence emerges as a fundamental pillar that supports multiple facets of a person’s life, impacting both psychological well-being and success in various areas. From interpersonal relationships to the professional sphere and mental health, the influence of emotional intelligence is omnipresent, outlining the path to a fuller and more satisfying life. The journey to improving emotional intelligence is a valuable process that significantly contributes to personal well-being and healthier relationships. By developing self-awareness, managing emotions, cultivating empathy, improving social skills, maintaining motivation, and committing to continuous development, you are on the path to a more enriching and fulfilling life.

Cultivating this skill not only enriches the life of each individual but also positively contributes to the building of more compassionate communities, collaborative work environments, and resilient societies. Thus, emotional intelligence reveals itself as an essential tool for embracing the complexity of the human experience and moving towards a life full of meaning and connection.

Verónica Sarria is a health psychologist at Sinews. She is specialized in eating disorders and obesity, working with adolescents and adults. She also treats other problems such as anxiety, depression, grief, self-esteem and interpersonal relationship problems, among others. Her orientation is cognitive behavioral but she integrates tools and techniques from other currents according to the needs of each patient, thanks to her training in mindfulness, mindful eating, attachment theory and systemic (family) therapy.